Custom Made
by CrackedCoffeeCup
Summary: Antonio couldn't tie ties. And that was never a problem until a very frustrating Italian named Lovino Vargas showed up on his front doorstep with a problem involving a job interview, a designer suit, and his lack of suitable neckware. Rated M for language and implied naughty content.


**This is just a fun little oneshot that came out of nowhere. There is literally no logic behind it. So sorry about that. But also not sorry. **

**Maybe I'll actually start one of my larger projects now…**

**Don't feel obligated to review, but I'd like to know what everyone thinks if you have the time! Feedback and constructive criticism is **_**always **_**welcome!**

**Thank you, ducklings! I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Antonio couldn't tie ties.

And that was never a problem until a very frustrating Italian named Lovino Vargas showed up on his front doorstep with a problem involving a job interview, a designer suit, and his lack of suitable neckware.

* * *

"Wait, wait, Lovino, slow down," Antonio protested as Lovino pushed past him into the entrance hallway of his home. There was undeniable panic in his voice as he knew – very well, in fact – that he would be judged more than he had ever been previously due to the sheer amount of 'cheat' ties he owned.

Lovino spun on his heels and looked at Antonio like he was an idiot. "No, Asshole, don't you understand? I have a job interview _tomorrow _for an architectural firm I've been looking at for _lord _knows how long, and I don't have a tie that matches the suit I want to wear. It's Sunday so I can't go and get one, plus, why spend money when I don't need to, ah?" He rolled his eyes at Antonio's befuddled expression and hit his arm pointedly. "I need to see your ties!"

Antonio visibly paled and shook his head, "no, no, no-" he retaliated quickly, grabbing Lovino by his shoulders and steering him towards the front door. "I'm sure your brothers have better ties than me, why not go and see them instead?"

"_Because _I'm here already!" Lovino replied, smacking Antonio's hands away from him and marching angrily towards Antonio's bedroom. "I don't see what the big deal is, Tonio! You're acting like a baby."

Antonio made chase, face now burning red. He was aware he was one of the more fashionable members of their particular social group, and this could absolutely _end _him. Normally he wouldn't mind what the others thought, but this was _Lovino_. And there was no denying he cared very much about Lovino's opinion. "You don't understand!" He said, almost too loudly, catching Lovino by the waist as the Italian reached for the bedroom door handle.

"What the hell-" Lovino yelped as he was spun around once again. Realization dawned on him after a few moments of looking into Antonio's undeniably frightened eyes. "Oh," he muttered, an air of hurt in his voice. "I see."

"You see what?" Antonio asked immediately, his red face almost comical as his expression turned from one of horror to one of utter confusion.

"You have a woman here."

Antonio's resounding snort could probably be heard three houses down. "A woman?" He asked through his laughter, "no! No! Lovino! There's no woman he-"

He was cut off by Lovino's hand, which was now firmly pressed against his lips. The fire raging in his eyes seemed to crackle and burn as he said, menacingly, "then why won't you let me see your _fucking _ties?"

The laughter that had erupted so readily from Antonio's being quieted immediately and, as Lovino's hand was removed from his mouth, he blurted out, "Because they're all fake! They're not worthy of your expensive designer suit, or your upscale interview! I own one real tie and it's bright blue with pink stripes and it's absolutely revolting and you'll hate me _forever _if you find out because I can't even _tie _it!"

He clapped his own hand over his mouth then and sunk into a crouch before falling onto his ass and covering his face completely.

There it was.

Oh God.

Everything was horrible.

Lovino had probably lost all measure of respect for him and he would be judged and never looked up to again. Ah woe! Woe was Antonio Fernandez Carriedo!

He expected to hear screaming from the other man, stomping and raging, but he didn't.

Much to his surprise, Lovino was laughing. It wasn't mean, or cruel, no. He was laughing from his stomach and – when Antonio dared look – his head was thrown back. There was something about his laugh, his demeanor. Once tense Lovino now seemed considerably more relaxed – relieved, even?

"Idiot," he said when he'd finally calmed down enough to speak. "You really think I give a shit if you can tie neckties or not? Hell, Antonio, if you're _that _ashamed of not knowing how to do it, you could have asked me to show you!"

Antonio, whose lower lip was sticking out in a rather obvious pout, mumbled something along the lines of: "You would have laughed at me."

This earned him a defiant snort from Lovino. "'Tonio," he stated slowly, crouching down so he was at the same height as his Spanish companion, "I _just _laughed at you and you're fine. I laugh at your fuck ups all the time."

Offering his hand to Antonio, he smirked.

"Come on, dumbass, let me show you how to tie a tie."

* * *

Antonio rifled around the top drawer of one of his bedroom cabinets for a while before producing a tie that was just as abhorrent as he had said. The Neon blue stripes were harsh and contrasted badly with the hot pink negative space and Lovino found himself questioning why, exactly, Antonio owned such an abominable piece of clothing.

After placing it over his shoulders, Antonio took a step forward and held out his arms. "Teach me, oh wise one!" He commanded, earning a roll of the eyes.

Funny how when Antonio thought he was hilarious, Lovino thought the opposite.

"First," Lovino began, pulling Antonio closer with the tie, "you do this-"

And so the lesson began. Slowly but surely. Loops and folds and various pulls. Nothing too complicated.

At least, it wouldn't have been if Antonio could keep his eyes off his tutor's lips. He found himself drawn to the way they moved when Lovino spoke, the way he stuck his tongue out in concentration, and he wondered how they were so smooth and what they would feel like against his own. He barely registered that he had somehow ended up almost nose to nose with Lovino, but he was pulled from his haze when he felt eyes practically boring into his soul.

"The hell do you think you're doing, Carriedo?" Snapped Lovino, hands still on the now perfectly tied necktie. "Have you paid any attention to what I just said?"

To this, Antonio nodded his head dumbly.

Lovino didn't say anything, but he wasn't convinced.

"Alright," he spoke slowly, squinting in distrust, "so…undo your tie. And do it up by yourself up. Every correct knot…"

Antonio moved back, slightly concerned about what was to follow.

"Loses me piece of clothing."

Lovino backed up and sat very pointedly on the edge of the bed, undoing the top button of his neat, white dress shirt.

Antonio panicked.

_What. _

"That's not fair-" Antonio squeaked, his arms dangling pathetically at his sides.

"Every wrong knot-" Lovino interrupted, quirking an eyebrow upwards. "-loses _you _a piece."

"Why is this your go to 'get Tonio to tie a tie' scheme, Lovi-"

Lovino's stony gaze stopped him in the middle of his sentence and turned Antonio red.

"Sorry, would you rather we _not _do this?" Lovino asked, folding his arms over his chest.

Antonio opened his mouth as if to speak but closed it almost immediately when he remembered the effect Lovinos lips had on him earlier – and those were just his lips.

He was as red as a tomato by the time he tugged unforgivingly at the neatly knotted tie. His expression was unimpressed and he shook his head as he moved, eyes only pulled from Lovino when he was forced to look down at his now untied neck garment.

"First," he crossed one part of the tie over the other and looked at Lovino's blank expression for approval.

Lovino tugging at his shirt buttons was answer enough and Antonio nodded in response, unable to pull his eyes from the slender man sitting on the bed until his shirt was but a pool of fabric on the ground. He cursed quietly under his breath as he took in Lovino's warm looking skin; smooth and lightly tanned.

Gulping, he looked down at the tie again, then back up at Lovino.

He had no idea what to do next.

Lovino began making clicking noises with his tongue, as if imitating a clock, and Antonio realized that this had become a timed event. He was panicking now, his hands fumbling as he pulled the end of the tie so it was looped through the fabric circling his neck.

A whistle, and Antonio raised his head to the sight of Lovino unbuttoning his trousers, his eyes never leaving the Spaniards.

"Hang on, hang on," Antonio said, letting his hands fall onto his hips. "Do you even have enough clothing to lose before this tie is tied? I see a flaw in your plan Lovino Vargas and, knowing you I-"

He was cut off a growl – something he most certainly didn't expect. It was low and warning and Lovino's eyes were practically on fire.

Not questioning how Lovino had made such a sound, Antonio nodded dully as the irresistible Italian slipped away once again, tugging his belt through his trouser loops and dropping it on top of his shirt instead of ditching his trousers as was his original plan.

This was where Antonio flubbed. Was he supposed to fold the tie over itself again or pull it through the top loop? He had…no idea. Absolutely zero clue. Mierda.

He stared at the other man helplessly, before pulling it through the top.

He knew immediately that he had done the wrong thing as the tie pulled into a knot you would tie in a rope, and consequently, Antonio turned bright red and looked up at Lovino who waited expectantly for Antonio to remove a piece of his own clothing.

* * *

It took a fair while for Antonio to correctly tie his tie – he was left with nothing but a single sock, briefs, and his shirt. But when he was finally done, he raised his arms and let out a victorious whoop, pointing at the finished product and posing.

"Very good," Lovino said, "now take that monstrosity off before I go blind."

Antonio straightened up and folded his arms over his chest, "no!" He said indignantly, "I tied it myself and I want to celebrate my victory by wearing it all day!"

Lovino scowled. "Fine," he said, bending down to pick up his shirt.

"Wait-" Antonio blurted, holding up his hand. "After all that you're just going to get dressed again?" He sounded hurt but his tone soon turned into one of _Antonio, don't forget that you're saying this out loud and it might get awkward soon. _You know the one.

Lovino's scowl morphed into a smirk without hesitation. "Were you expecting something else, Carriedo?"

Antonio was right – it was awkward. "No." He replied, clasping his hands in front of him and looking down at his feet.

It would be a lie to say that Antonio had not noticed Lovino's body before, but he'd never seen it in such detail. He hadn't paid any attention to how smooth the slope of his waist was, the softly protruding hipbones, or exactly how much he wanted to feel Lovino's creamy skin against his. This was his opportunity to do something, to tell Lovino through actions. And he was going to let it walk away, wasn't he?

No.

He couldn't do that.

"Then I don't see the problem," Lovino said, turning back around and readying himself to dress. Before he could properly do anything, though, Antonio spoke again.

"Wait!"

Famous last words, Antonio thought. Balls.

He felt like he was going to explode – his heart felt ready to rupture. "Don't put anything back on."

Lovino stood up slowly and turned to face Antonio, the devious smirk that had been previously plastered on his face reprising its existence. "Or what, Carriedo?"

Antonio turned bright red, but boldly took a step forward (somehow) and leaned forward so his lips were against the Italians ear. "Or you'll never know what pleasure _really _is."

Lovino laughed at that.

Of course he did.

"What the fuck? Seriously, Antonio?" He asked through his laughter. "That's all you've got? You _really _thought that line would work on m-"

He was cut off by Antonio's mouth atop his, warm, welcoming – so much so, apparently, that Lovino immediately melted into him, shrugging off any previous, unwelcome emotion and catching himself in the moment.

Carefully, Antonio maneuvered Lovino onto the bed, climbing on top of him. Lips moved from lips to necks, to stomachs, to hips, to –

All was lost in a tornado of passion. And neither Antonio nor Lovino would have had it any other way.

* * *

"Are you alright, Mr. Vargas?" Asked Lukas Bondevik from behind his desk as the interviewee, Lovino Vargas, sat down.

The question caught Lovino off guard, but he answered in record time, managing to control his voice enough to avoid a crack. "Yes sir," he said. "My legs are just a little sore. I went for a run yesterday and didn't stretch beforehand. I've definitely learned my lesson."

Mr. Bondevik offered a shallow smile in response. "Something I have also experienced," he said knowingly. "I recommend a long bath and a massage appointment, if you can get one – I can strongly recommend Berwald Oxensternia at Söta, downtown. Mention my name and he'll discount you. He owes me a couple of favors."

The interview proceeded as normal. Questions were asked as they always were. Strengths, Weaknesses, Relationship Building. Lovino was sure to throw in as many buzz words as he could, as was custom, and when the interview was over both Lovino and Mr. Bondevik seemed satisfied by how it had gone.

"We'll be in touch," Lukas said as he slipped Lovino's information into a black file folder. "You're welcome to leave. Thank you very much for your time today. Expect a phone call within the next week."

Mr. Bondevik extended his hand and Lovino took it, thanking the man professionally as he stood (shakily). "I look forward to it. Have an excellent weekend, Sir."

With that, he turned on his heel to leave.

"Oh, and Mr. Vargas," Lukas added, stopping Lovino in his tracks, "I was meaning to ask you earlier – where did you get your tie?"

Lovino looked down at the monstrosity tied around his neck and smiled. "It's one of a kind, sir. Custom made. From Spain."

Leaning back in his chair, Lukas nodded, offering a smile. "Alright," he said. "Have a good day."


End file.
